Friday, May 4, 2012

For a good laugh

The following has been selected and collected for all the English teachers who may have made it thus far in this book. These are a collection of notices in what may have been intended to be written in plain English. Upon reading this, our only hope is that somehow our language will survive.
 *From a hotel in Moscow: "If this is your first visit to the USSR, you are welcome to it."
 *Notice found in a travel agency in Barcelona: "Go away."
 *A Tokyo hotel has this notice on its elevator doors: "Do not open door until door opens first."
 *Another Tokyo hotel posted: "Is forbidden to steal towels, please. If you are not person to do such, please
   not to read notice."
 *A butcher in Nahariyya, Israel: "I slaughter myself twice daily."
 *This from a barber in Zanzibar: "Gentlemen's throats cut with nice sharp razors."
 *Hotel del Paseo, Mexico City: "We sorry to advice you that by a electric desperfect  in the generator master
   of the elevator we have the necessity  that don't give service at our distinguishable guests."
 *This notice was placed on every table in the dining room of a hotel in Columbo, Sri Lanka: "All vegetables in this establishment have been washed in water especially passed by the management."
 *A dentist in Hongkong: "Teeth extracted by latest methodists."
 *Another elevator sign in Tokyo: "Keep your hands away from unnecessary buttons for you."
 *A hotel in Bucharest posted this notice: "The lift is being fixed for the next four days. During this time you will be unbearable."
 *Hotel Deutschland, Leipzig: "Do not enter the lift backwards and only when lit up."
 *From the bakery, Vale of Kashmir: First-class, English loafer."
 *From a little restaurant in Mexico City: "U.S. Hots Dog."
 *A barber in Tokyo: "All customers promptly executed."
 *The Restaurant des Artistes, Montmartre: "We serve five o'clock tea at all hours." :))

Don't you love this? What a delight! How about a hand for all those marvelous, wonderful people who have composed such signs and sentences! I only hope they never open any English dictionaries as long as they promise to keep on writing such notices. *

-moments to give devotional- by R. S

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